Knock, Knock! Who's There?

48 hours of active labor! 48 hours! And today? Nothing! A few contractions here an there, but not even as regular as my contractions have been when they've been weak. Seriously? I am feeling rested and relaxed, and calm, and it's freaking me out! I've gotten so used to feeling contractions, to timing them, keeping track of increase or decrease in pain. I'm used to going to Labor and Delivery because contractions are too close or too intense, for crying out loud I've been doing this for 2 months now. That's right! All this started at 28 weeks and we are 35 weeks today. We've almost made our 36 week goal, which is great, but the sudden screeching halt in contractions and fatigue have me a little on guard. Not in a bad way, just in a waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of way.

I was at my Non-Stress Test on Monday and 5 minutes in I start having really intense contractions, stronger than they've ever noticed before. Off come the monitors and I'm instructed to go to Labor and Delivery imediatly. So I go, no problem, this is routine by now. I get there sign in, they hook me up, contractions keep coming hard and fast, and I'm thinking, wow, this could be it, the baby might actually be coming today, wow! Nurse comes in to check and says, nope we're still high, tight, closed, and posterior. Bad news because that means they have to try and stop labor. 3 shots of Tributalene later (and boy do those shots SUCK) nothing has changed. No physical change, no change in contractions, nothing, but they can't give me any more medicine so they send me home feeling incredibly deflated, and sore.

Tuesday I wake up and contractions are still going, so I start the regular routine to try and stop them. Warm bath, laying on my left side, drinking tons of water, and going to the bathroom every hour or more. No change, contractions are still coming, so at 2pm we decide, okay it's officially 24 hours since we started contractions yesterday lets go back to L&D. So we go in. Nurse hooks me up, contractions are consistent and intense, and she says okay lets check and see where you are.  I let her know we probably aren't anywhere because as of 24 hours ago we were high, tight, closed, and very posterior (which until Tuesday EVERY nurse felt was necessary to point out), however she checks and SURPRISE! we're low, soft, 2 cm. dilated, and 70% effaced! Even the nurse was surprised at how much change there had been in 24 hours! Unfortunately with no further change in the 3 hours of observation they did they had to send me home again. They gave me the regular spiel about when to know to come back, blah, blah, blah...

So again, contractions continue all night and into Wednesday morning, until suddenly around lunch they start to become worse. Much more intense, so again we pile into the car and head to L&D. Same nurse as the day before and we're all hopeful that there's been some change, something to let us know how things are going, but no, nothing. Maybe a little thinner, but not enough to tell for sure, and again we are send home. Contractions continue, but later last night they actually started to slow down.

And this morning? Nothing! No muscle pain, no hard active labor contractions, no sleepiness or fatigue and I feel great! I haven't felt this great in a long time! So now I know to be ready, because one of the things most pregnant women will tell you is that feeling great is a HUGE delivery red flag! I am still on rest, still keeping as inactive as possible, and still waiting to see our baby girl. I am pleased we've made it 35 weeks! Now I'm just curious to see when she decides to show up. Baby shower is this Saturday at 1.... will I be there? Guess I'll have to let you know in a few days!

And so our adventures continue....

Everyday longer is a good day....

We've been in and out of Labor and Delivery with this little one so much that sometimes I start to feel discouraged. Almost constant contraction cramping, that sometimes because severe contractions. It's an incredibly frustrating feeling, driving in 30 minutes, sitting in triage for 30-90 minutes or more, then the 3o minute drive back home. I know it's better to go in and get things checked out but it's irritating too.

I know it sounds horrible, but sometimes I wish she'd just come already so I wouldn't feel like such a fool going in and having them send me home because we aren't laboring. The one time we were they gave me two shots of Tributalene and got labor to stop and sent me home. I know it's important for her to stay put as long as possible, and I am so grateful we've made it as far as we have, but it's frustrating knowing there is nothing I can do to stop the contractions we're already having.

The rest is just as irritating sometimes as well. I miss rough housing around with my Bubba, and going on walks, and doing things around the house. It's even put a dent in my crafting so I am limited to what I can do to relax. I keep reminding myself that everyday longer is a good day, I know that it is, and if we can make it even 2-4 weeks longer she'll be healthier and stronger than she is now.

To keep my mind busy I've started doing a parenting devotional. It's really nice, and I'm finding a lot of the verses to study are things I need to hear and keep in mind right now. I am also so grateful to my husband who is doing a great job of reminding me that taking care of me and baby is more important than anything else right now. I can see how concerned he is about the situation, and how he's just as frustrated with things as I am, but he keeps me calm and reminds me that at the end of this we'll have a beautiful baby girl, who is more than worth all of the struggle.

Until then I continue to take it one day at a time, and I breathe, and I pray, because that's all I can do. And that's enough.